the.great. divide. (part 1)

Ok I've kept my blonde mouth shut long enough. It's time that I take a stance and speak for all the single ladies out there (insert Beyonce's song here)....


Single girls vs. Married girls. The final showdown.
(But does it have to be??)


So my roommate Adrianne and I have had numerous discussions on this very topic throughout the years and I have taken it upon myself to set the record straight on some issues, clear the air on others, and offer some insider knowledge to the public. We will be covering a few topics today...and more to come later (I'm thinking about writing a book....NY Times Best Seller baby!)


Before I launch into this--here's some background. Yes, I'm a single, upper twenties lady. My roommate is also a single (as in not married), upper twenties lady. We both have successful careers. We both have college degrees. We both have traveled and have many life experiences. We both have beautiful nephews and love them dearly (although Adrianne's is still baking...) We both are independent and have taken care of ONLY ourselves since graduating from college. We both have friends (some of them mutual) who are married, have kids, buying houses, etc. Adrianne and I both rent (and are content doing that!). And we both have made signficant life decisions...most of which have not been celebrated due in large part because they aren't the typical get married, have kids, buy a house life decisions. We're not bitter people...we're just annoyed. And with that knowledge...here we go...


Point #1. To all of our married friends....we love you. Let's just state that fact. We do. We love the fact that you found that one person who you will be spending the rest of your life with. We love the fact that you had a beautiful wedding and wanted us to be a part of that special day. We are geuninely happy for you.


BUT...yes, its a big but...


...just because we are not married does not mean we aren't complete. We are whole just being ourselves. We don't need a man to complete this picture. We don't need to be "rescued". We are playing the hand we've been dealt...and right now, that hand is to learn to be content with just ourselves.

In fact, you yourself were single once. Remember that fact. When you were single, did you like it when people would say "Don't worry, you're time will come?" Did you like it when people would ask "Why aren't you married yet?" Did you appreciate it when people would try to set you up with any single guy that crossed their path....whether or not he was quality or not? I'm guessing no. Remember that. (And if we had the answers to these questions....we'd probably be married already.) Oh and just because marriage was your answer, doesn't necessarily mean it is OUR answer. We're different people. We don't have to live the same life you do.

Point #2. To our friends with kids...we absolutely ADORE your children! We do! We love squeezing them and loving on them and showering them with gifts and spoiling them rotten (and then sending them home). If we didn't, we wouldn't offer to babysit. We wouldn't have visited you in the hospital when you had them. We wouldn't have thrown/attended your baby shower and gotten you gifts and cried when you told us you were pregnant. I just want to make that clear.

BUT....

...because we do not have kids, means we can be spontaneous. Don't punish us for this. Because we do not have children, we can go out for drinks with our other friends who don't have kids on the fly. We can take long weekends for one-tank-getaways. We can stay out until the wee hours of the morning. We don't have to schedule "friend time" months in advance.

This is not a contest between us. I (and yes, I'm speaking for myself here) long for the day when I have children. To have something that loves you unconditionally, that you created, that is solely your responsibility...yes, that is something that I cannot wait to have. But until that time...my dog Yankee will have to do. (And by the way, the day I brought Yankee home was a very big day for me. I'm not making the comparsion that its the same as bringing your child home from the hospital...but for me, it felt that way. Recognize.)

Please note...this does not refer to our nephews. In our eyes, our nephews are our hearts. We live for them. They take priority over just about anything. Seriously and literally.

And speaking of children....it hurts our feelings when we're not invited into their lives. You are our friends. We love you and we love your children. But we sometimes feel like we're not included in things, simply because we do not have children. We want to be involved in their lives.

Point #3. Celebrate our freaking life decisions, just as we celebrate yours. I have to quote Carrie from Sex and The City on this one...

"Think about it. If you are single, after graduation there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. Hallmark doesn't make a 'congratulations, you didn't marry the wrong guy' card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone?"

All I can say to this is...Amen. A-freaking-men. When you got married, we got you presents for our showers, your wedding, etc. When you got knocked up, we got you presents for your showers (multiple), etc. When you bought your first house, we got you a housewarming gift. Well hey...congrats.

Celebrate. My. Life. Decisions. Too.

Celebrate the fact that I lived by my very own self for the first time in my life! Celebrate the fact that I bought myself a puppy who relies on me for attention, food, shelter, love, etc. Celebrate the fact that I found my dream job and am busting my ass to succeed in my career. Celebrate the fact that I found a church that I feel comfortable in and am getting involved in. Celebrate the fact that I found something that I'm talented in and am making a name for myself in. Celebrate my life too. I celebrate yours...the love needs to be reciprocated.


lovelove

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what you've always wanted to know.......or not.

It's one of those days today. I have a horrid (yes, I said horrid) cold and my head feels like its in a cloud. So I'm trying to do as many mind-numbing exercises as possible. And now you get to reap the benefits of that. Here's Kelby's Senseless Survey--everything you could have possibly wanted to know about me. And a BUNCH of crap you don't care anything about. Ready? Set. Go!

Favorite Color: Pink, obviously. However I love turquoise, orange and black as well.
Favorite Car: 2003 Corvette (the year I was a Princess and got to ride all over town on the back of it. holla.)
Favorite Movie: Oh here we go....actually no, I don't feel like diving into this mess. I have several based on genres.
Favorite Hobby: I do love me some crocheting. I know that makes me sound like a grandma...but I don't care. (Speaking of, Kels--tell me what colors you're doing your living room in!!)
Favorite Song/Singer: my FFOMC--Dierks Bentley. Although I do love me some Gwen Stefani too.
Favorite Book/Author: Harry Potter. Twilight. lovelovelove
Favorite School Subject: history for sure.
Favorite Vacay Destination: the beach. I don't care where. beach it up.
Favorite Food: Salads with extra ranch dressing.
Favorite Restaurant: I have a new love of Japanese steakhouses. Apparently, I have a hidden talent of catching food flying through the air in my mouth. Who knew?
Favorite Animal: I love me some flamingos and elephants. And of course my pooch Yankee.
Favorite Store: NORDSTROM. Hands down.
Favorite Celebrity: Oh gosh. I love Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. And I love Gwen Stefani as well.
Favorite Childhood Friend: Annie Harsh and Melissa Goodlett. Gosh, those were the days.
Favorite Childhood Memory: Strawberry shortcake phones with my sister. Oh and chili con queso fights with her :)
Favorite Baby Name: nope, not revealing this. Last time I did, it got stolen.
Favorite Person in my Life: Wyatt, my two-year old nephew. Life is so much more fun with him.
Favorite Possession: my iPhone, just because without it, I'm completely lost.
Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Taco Bell.
Favorite Comedian: Ellen
Favorite Holiday: is my birthday a holiday? if not, then Christmas fo sho.
Favorite Number: 2.
Favorite Hard Candy: the little baby Gobstoppers.
Favorite Month: duh, September. My birthday month.
Favorite Flower: tulips or pink roses. or white roses.
Favorite Ice Cream: mint chocolate chip
Favorite Smell: guys who smell good, clean laundry (Apple Mango Tango), campfires and fresh cut grass
Favorite Drink: Chubby Pickle. :)
Favorite Cartoon Character: the blue PowerPuff girl
Favorite Kind of Pants: jeans. more specifically, my new skinnies.
Have Any Pets? Yes, Yankee my 6lb YorkiePoo. (also known as the Doodle Bug)
Have Any Children? Nope
Smoke? Cigars occassionally.
Drink? sometimes. I'm a tequila girl..what can I say?
Exercise? Yes. Marathon training and P90X. holla.
Like to Cook? When I'm in the mood.
Play An Instrument? does the recorder count?
Dance? Oh yes.
Write? duh, why else do I have this AWESOME bloggity blog.
Ski? does it count if you fall down the mountain while wearing skis?
Do You Wish You Lived Somewhere Else? Nope. Indy is heaven.
Enjoy spending time with your mother? Yes!
Sleep with a fan on? Yes! A habit I've had since college and I can't seem to break.
Want to get married? Only if I can dance down the aisle like the JKWeddingDance video. I'm just saying.
Have you laughed until you cried? Actually all the time around Wyatt. Last time was Sunday at Cheesecake Factory when he was growling and then making himself choke. And then laughing about it. Oh gosh, I'm cracking up just thinking about it.
Met someone who changed you? Absolutely.
What were you doing at midnight last night? Blowing my nose.
Name something you CANNOT wait for? to be rid of this cold. (how's that for shallow?)
What are you listening to right now? People chatting it up in the hallway.
Last time you saw your father? Saturday.
Most visited webpage? Facebook fo sho.
Do people think you're weird? Probably not weird...but awesome.
Are any of your friends mad at you? Oh probably. It's a day that ends in "y" so it wouldn't surprise me.
What's one new thing you'd like to try? getting my freaking tattoo.
Are you a bully? ha! I'm not sure if I can answer this....
Do you type fast? Heck yes I do! Keyboarding class in high school was the best class I ever took!
Do you get mad easily? depends on who and what. but generally....kind of. again though, it depends.
Who's your best friend? Ambra and my sister.
What's the longest relationship you've been in? 6 months
Your ex and you? I'm done.
Maybe I should...go run.
I love...life. Wyatt. My family. Jesus.
Do you like getting hyper? I like when I have energy, which I don't right now.
I don't understand...The support for this stupid health care reform.
I've lost respect for...people who don't defend themselves.
I get annoyed when...people leave price tags on gifts, don't use their turn signal.....
Are you neat or sloppy? Organized chaos.
Do you have medical problems? yes.
Have you dated someone older than you? yes.
How much older? 7 years.
First surgery: tonsils my junior year in high school
First piercing: my ears when I as 5
First best friend: Hannah Van Vleet
First sport you joined: softball baby. The summer I was 4.
First pet: Muffin the hamster.
First vacation: oh gosh, I don't remember
First concert: hahah Randy Travis with my sister!
First crush: celebrity? Kirk Cameron.
First car: Haans, the Volkswagon Gulf. Oh how I miss you sweet Haans.
If your house was on fire, the first thing you'd grab...Yankee!!
First thing you notice when you look in the mirror: Dang, my hair is getting so freaking long.
Chocolate or vanilla? chocolate
Big Mac or Whopper? Big Mac
Coke or Pepsi: Coke
Beer or Wine: oooh probably beer
Coffee or Tea: is it sweet tea? is the coffee Starbucks?
Summer or Winter: summer
cats or dogs: dogs
Boxers or Briefs: boxer briefs :)
rain or shine: rain actually.
Morning or Night: how about super early morning when it still looks like night?
Silver or Gold: Olympic medals? Gold. Jewelry...silver. Unless its ghetto gold.
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunset
Oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Youngest.
Indoor or Outdoors: outdoors
Got a Speeding Ticket: once. shoot.
Failed A Class: oops.
Screened Your Phone Calls: I'm a big fan of the screen.
Eaten Food off the Floor: 5 second rule.
Cried During A Movie: Try naming a movie where I HAVEN'T cried in.
Had Your Heart Broken?: Yup.
Had a good feeling about something: all the time. I'm a positive person :)
Pulled an all-nighter: More in recent past.

whew. that was fun. and killed a half an hour.

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