Sleepless in Lafayette...

Kelby has threatened to rename this site.  Something about she’s doing all the blogging…I haven’t written since Thanksgiving…blah, blah.  The problem is, I haven’t felt like I’ve had anything going on worth writing about.  Then I see that Kelby writes about her new “running skirt” (can those two words even go together and be taken seriously?).  I have another friend who wrote about her new sunglasses.  And yet another blogger friend who has written about what her dog eats.   And I enjoy reading these!  I love hearing about what’s going on in my friends’ lives, no matter how small or big it seems.  (Because who’s to judge?)  So, I really HAVE been trying to get past my excuses and post something.  And every time I think of something, I don’t have time to put it in writing.  BUT, tonight you are graced with a blog from the other half of “HicksGirls” because I can’t sleep.  It’s only 11:00pm, so it’s not that big of a deal, but I have a lot on my mind and I SHOULD be sleeping because I have to get up pretty darn early in the morning, on a Saturday, to begin the process of finishing packing, getting myself dressed, packing Wyatt, getting Wyatt dressed, getting Wyatt breakfast, (Adam’s involved here too!), getting out the door  and driving one hour to the west side of Indy, handing Wyatt off to my mom, Adam and I getting to the airport the standard two-hours early, and taking off for our first week-long getaway together since before I was pregnant, three years ago.  Part of me is just plain, night-before-Christmas, excited.  I am tagging along with Adam to a conference in Scottsdale, Arizona.  This is my ideal vacation…Adam will have some classes he’ll need to go to, so I can lounge by the pool.  They have seminars for the wives (Tim Gunn, anyone?!?), there’s a dinner every night of the conference, and it’s capped off with a black-tie-optional gala (for which I bought a brand new dress! ).  I get to see my friend Michelle while I’m out there.  We’re hoping to go to an MLB Spring Training Game, and we’re going to spend our last few days in Sedona.  We really are pumped about this vacay!

HOWEVER…I have never left Wyatt for this long.  He’s done a few other overnights at G.G.’s, but nothing for a week.  He’s spending the first half of the week at my mom’s, and the second half of the week at my mother-in-law’s.  In my head, I know he’ll be fine…probably better than fine.  He’ll have a ball.  But he’s at this great age where he is just darn fun to be around, he says and does new things every day, and I am just going to miss him.  A LOT.  And, I have this horrible way of playing out worst-case-scenarios in my head.  So I’ve been praying constantly that we (Adam, Wyatt and I) are successfully reunited at the end of this trip.  

To make all of this anxiety worse, though, and I think the real reason I can’t sleep…Wyatt fell down the stairs tonight.  Not just one or two, but all 10-12 of our stairs from the main floor to the basement.  He’s fine, but talk about scary.  The thing I hate about this house is that the garage is out the basement level.  So, every time I come and go I am loaded down with my purse (which is tote-bag-size), Wyatt’s diaper bag, usually his blanket, and whatever else is involved in the errands we’re running (library books, notebook for a meeting, dry cleaning, etc…).  Plus, Wyatt can’t walk down the stairs.  He can crawl UP them, but he can’t get down them.  So, I’m always loaded down like the above-described pack mule, PLUS, I’m carrying my 22-month old son.  So, tonight we were getting ready to leave the house to take our dog to my in-law’s house while we’re gone, and Wyatt was standing at the top of the stairs.  I had him standing on the top step, between me and the gate that I was trying to close at the top of the stairs.  But when I turned to grab his hand to go down the stairs, he tried to take a step down too, and went tumbling to the bottom.  It seemed like it happened in slow-motion but lightening-fast at the same time.  I have no idea how I emptied my arms of the stuff I was carrying and scooped Wyatt up at the bottom, screaming.  He actually calmed down after just a few minutes.  There was no bleeding, and I have yet to see any bruises.  (I think the saving grace is that the stairs are carpeted!)  I handed him off to Adam to put him in the car, and went back inside to retrieve my stuff.  It was then that I lost it.  My legs felt like they were going to give way and I kept replaying my little boy falling down the stairs in my head.  And the “What Ifs…”!   But I’ve just been so anxious about leaving him, that this episode just put me over the edge.  

So, I’m awake.  Because every time I close my eyes, I picture the worst.  I’m counting my blessings, literally.  And maybe I should have a glass of wine…